Thursday, March 23, 2006

poa pratensis

This was the "final Jeopardy" clue last night: poa pratensis is the plant one state in the US is most commonly known for. Closet botanist that he apparently is, Mr. Hyde ran out of his room yelling it was Kentucky Bluegrass! Mo and I nearly fell on our asses when Alex came back and told the contestants, none of whom answered correctly, what it was. This kid is a riddle inside a mystery, wrapped in an enigma. *sigh* HOW does he know this stuff? And WHY does he maintain a 2.0 GPA, when he obviously has the intelligence and memory-capacity to do so much better?!?!?

I've caught myself telling him how much potential he has, and how he's throwing it away. Yuk!!! I got that line from my parents, so did Mo. Doesn't work. EVER. So, when I'm capable of rational thought while discussing his abysmal performance at school, I tell him it's about choices. I want him to be able to choose to go to college, and choose which one he'll go to, to choose what he'll do for the rest of his life. I want HIM to choose his destiny. Isn't that something every parent wants? But this is the kid who has always pushed me away, from the moment he was born prematurely he's been pushing me away, trying to do things HIS way. I guess in some way he's going to have to figure this out for himself too, and all I can do is love and support him, in spite of my fears and concerns (valid or otherwise).

Tonight, he'll be running in his first High School Track meet. A relay, and the 3,000 meter. Why do I feel like all I've ever done is watch him run?

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