How is it the first day of June already??? I feel so unaccomplished: potty-training is still in progress, weaning hasn't even begun, and I have no job prospects. Oh, and my teenage son actually said in counseling on Tuesday that a) he doesn't believe I *really* love him, and b) I fake migraines to get out of doing stuff. Heh.
The rash I've been struggling with for a week and half is still there, still itchy and annoying and spreading from my chest to my arms and neck. I went to see my doctor about it yesterday and he assured me it wasn't contagious, although he had no idea what it could be among any number of skin rashes, then prescribed a steroid cream (isn't that the medical profession's catchall solution?). Hopefully it won't lead to me growing some chest hair, because I'm not sure I can reasonably handle that too. As it is, shaving the usual parts is a bitch; who has all that time? Of course, I did a Google search and found this, which seems quite plausible as it describes *exactly* what I've experienced so far. I'm supposed to call doc tomorrow if the steroid cream isn't working or my voice has deepened, so we'll see. Mo says the rash looks worse today (thanks, Love!), and the itch is still there although not as bothersome. I wonder if this is the reason why I've had a migraine since Saturday? (or am I faking it?)
I dunno... I feel like I'm failing. Like, if I were going to get graded for how I'm doing with my life right now I'd get a D minus. You know what else is bugging the crap out of me? We have a birdfeeder and two birdhouses that were very popular at the house we used to live in. Now they're hung up on our balcony and I have yet to see ONE bird come near any of them. WTF???
ok, enough with the whining. I have to share some good stuff, and then I need to go answer a gazillion emails from people who actually want to go on playdates and stuff with us. But, I've been keeping myself under quarantine, just in case I had some skin version of the bird flu, ya know.
So, El Niño's belting out a new-word-a-day now. Thanks to BMC, I got the idea last week to teach him "help" (sign and word) for those times when he gets frustrated or I need him to cooperate, and whaddayaknoo it worked! We've had great success with it during toy pickup sessions, clothing changes and pretty much everything else we do around here. Yesterday he surprised me while we were singing Old McDonald by saying "dow" while making the sign for cow. And I found out that he also knows the word "rain", which he'd said to Daddy (who didn't share this news with Mami in a timely manner, the big booger).
The other thing that's really cute is that he's definitely a treehugger. Literally. Ever since he was a few months old, he'd reach out towards a tree if we were walking close to it. We'd always smile and walk him over so he could touch it, and he'd get a huge grin on his face. It's one of the most popular signs for him to make and he can spot a tree in a picture, painting, IRL, anywhere. Now that he walks, he likes to walk over to trees and *touch* them, the way most kids like to walk over and pet dogs or other babies... Ehhh, he could grow up to head the Sierra Club someday!
As for Hyde, I don't know what to do about him. There are times when I wish I could put him in a rocket and send him to outer space for a few years. I worry that I can't get past this emotional divide, this anger of his at me, and my correspondent anger and hurt at the fact that all my efforts at being a good parent have seemingly been for naught. I mean, if after everything we've been through he still doesn't believe I love him!?!?! Maybe it's because I let him watch too much television when he was a toddler...